Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

I am back at it. A half marathon, an inspiring book and 4 months later, i am sure i want to do it, but i am not entirely sure if i can. I have to leave that to my undiscovered will , to complete a Full Marathon, in an acceptable time, or better.

Being out of touch shows. I went for my first few runs. And while i was not entirely disappointed with how much i lost for not having run for the past few months, i could see an in-satisfactory difference. Given the task this year is doing the double of what i am otherwise used to preparing for, it puts me back much further from my goal. Well that's one reason why i started much earlier. A 21k would not mean training beyond three to four months at best, and that too a very self pleasing training.

41km is a process, with no short-cuts or loose-ends.Given my life and job, it will only mean a greater effort.But it is this very life and job that inspires me to try it.

First step is to build up stamina and consistency, before i subscribe to a program which will shape the rest of the preparation.

It would all get slightly more mechanical and routine-filled than what i would want, for running to me is being in the center,my comfort zone, being where i desire or regret the least,where every will finds a way or every way fits the will. Equilibrium.I mostly expect a thoughtless experience (when i run) but cant help thinking good. Am clearly against running to escape stress or toning health.They are the fall-outs, of doing what you like to do.And its running for me (so far/ right now). I was reading about Murakami(famous author & runner)loosing his will to run for a long time after he finished an 'Ultra'-marathon. No business wondering how it must be for a 100km (ultra marathon)road to make you trail it first and then drain you of any desire for it again, or any road.

I do agree that toning health and freeing stress are great reasons to go active (running or anything).........in fact i have on many days killed last evenings beer with next mornings run (same for last evening's fight). Well if you can, you should right :) ?

But marathon is more than any regime that has a purpose. Marathon is the purpose.And so is for me.

Details of this -
Event : Mumbai Marathon
Date : I guess 17th Jan 2010
Time left : 8 months
Expectation : To finish it
Dream : Finish in under 5hrs
Facts : 1.)Ran a 6km in a fair time yesterday 2.)Have ran a half marathon in under 2hrs.

At a current physical condition that helps me only finish 6km with reasonable comfort and a history and passion for running, its a mix of odds.I certainly feel more confident about it when i think than when i run. I hope to lessen this gap.

And every athlete who has ever ran one will tell you, it always seems impossible. You always want to give up. You always fall short of what you expect.Its a race against yourself and there are no fall-outs but you, and no gains but for you.And its always about will.And like Murakami said about running - Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

So i would just let my will take over.